Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Thunder Cake and Roses

I remember, now, how long ago it was that I knew you,
How long ago I loved you the best a child ever could.
I remember how you always protected me without having any idea of what chivalry was;
You couldn’t have wrapped your head around that word, then
You weren’t much more than six years old.
I remember how we could live in our dreams then,
The boundaries between this world and that were mere curtains of gauze
A gentle mist that barely blurred the way.
You were my prince, my hero,
A knight with sword and shield who would defeat my every demon without question,
And I, your fairy queen, knew not yet the weight of worry and of expectation,
Of dark nights and dirty fingers.
I remember the kitchen and the smell of baking Thunder Cake,
Your broad smile and beautiful lips
And the pathetic kindergarten jokes that used to make us laugh so much.
I picture you now not the last time I saw you,
What was that, second grade?
But as you looked in a certain set of pictures I still have
You all in black,
Me dressed as a fairy, wand and all, blessing the flowers in the back yard.
We were pure then,
More or less untainted by society, still believers in ourselves however we wanted to be,
In love with the misty green expanses and ever-blooming roses of our fantasies.
You are, perhaps, the only person I ever shared everything with.
I was too young to know that pretending was silly,
And you, in a rare and beautiful stroke of luck, shared my love of dreaming.
Do you remember me, I wonder?
Do you remember playing in the dappled shade of the old olive tree,
Reading stories to the sound of the rain?
I wonder if I’ve glorified you in my memories,
If we never shared all the things I think we did,
If you would laugh reading this now
And wonder how that little blonde girl you used to know turned into such a poet,
An abstract writer who makes so much now of things that meant so little then.
But I hope beyond hope that you would remember,
Even if you didn’t admit it,
That you would remember one sweet thing about me,
One day in our world of dreams and freedoms
So I would not be lost to you.