Sunday, September 05, 2004

My Star

There is a star who isn’t sure how to shine hiding in my back bedroom
Letting her light fall to blank faces and empty paper
Watching the world through eyes so much like mine
Eyes that try to see the hope but can’t ignore the pain
And I know the sorrow held within us may never go away
And I know the faith waiting in our hearts waivers sometimes
And I wish I could tell her that I suffer too, not just on the surface, but deep inside,
But I want to tell her that the world has enough for both of us,
For all of us,
Because I hold this truth in the deepest parts of my being.
I want to tell her that she is beautiful and talented,
And that it’s alright to be unsure of life sometimes,
To wander without purpose no matter how uncomfortable that may make us,
And I want her to know that if she’d open her heart a little more
I’d give her a little more of mine
And I want her to know that I care
And I want the best for her.
And I want her to know that I’m always here,
And that my arms are always open.

So to you, my little star,
A speck of perfect white in the night sky feared by so many,
I wish you hope.
Life is full of opportunities, and if you can’t stand the number of closed doors
Run away with me.
I will be your friend your confidante and sister always
In times of despair, doubt, and hope
So know that no matter how lonely life may feel
You never are alone.

May your life be filled with dreams and aspirations to be
All you want to be.

With love
Your poetess.

If I Die Too Young

If I die too young, remember me.
Remember me as a girl who felt she had to yell to be heard, and so
Respect my quiet passions.
Please don’t let my poems end up in a dumpster,
At least burn them if no one wants to save them
They are the words I could use only once.
They are rarely altered,
Never edited.
If I die too young, sit with me.
Sit around a table and speak one thing you loved about me, shared with me,
One perfect time you spent with me
But do not speak of me with regret
For that is one thing, of all things, I have tried to live without.
If I die too young, learn from me.
Learn about yourself, your life, and make it how you want it to be,
How you’d want it to be if you died too young,
For that is how I would want it to be.
If I die too young, keep me.
Keep me in keepsake, in writing, in memory,
Hold me just a little in a secret part of your brimming heart,
For if you keep me there,
I will never die.

Center of Me

I wanna be loved
I wanna be fucked
I wanna trust someone implicitly.
I want an easygoing smile
With a scintillating sense of humor
On an airplane back from NYC
An affectionate, passionate, honest soul
To share my life, my heart, my body.
Someone who will love my naked form
And hate underwire,
Someone who only hurts me when he knows it’s what I need.
Someone who will be the center of my gravity,
Who won’t know how to live without me,
A man who sleeps best with his head in my breasts,
Who keeps time with my rhythm and respects my rests,
Who lets me hold his fingers when were walking,
Who lets his head and heart both do the talking,
Who appreciates me and the little things I do.

So,
If you’re out there,
Look for the girl with love in her eyes,
Passion in her heart,
And open arms,
And when you’ve found her, you’ve found me.

Introduce yourself.

Portrait of a Girl

When you took the photograph I knew I wasn’t smiling
I never can when I’m stuck in a pose.
But you insisted, impatient for an identity without a soul;
I warned you, but it was just a reminder, you said,
The real me would burn in you forever.

When the pictures were developed you found
The passionless photo of me and sighed,
You could not see the fire in my eyes for
It was hidden behind glassy lenses.

But do not fear for there is something yet that you await
A picture unexpected, to be sure.
A moment when you caught me without armour
When my spirit was not expecting to be snared
Part of a head with one gleaming eye
One half of a heartfelt smile
And a bit of golden hair blowing in the wind

You have my joy forever, now,
In a print that none but you will ever know,
A memoir of a moment none but you could ever see.


For a Friend who Must Believe

If you listen closely you will hear your heartbeat in the wind,
And you will see that you are everywhere.
And in that moment you will find that your pulse is merely one of many
Not so different from the rest
But yours, just yours.
And you will know that your grace is drawn from the stars
And your passion from the fire of the deepest reaches of the Earth.
And when you have heard your voice as one of many
You will know yourself.
Everyone is whispering your name,
You are stirring the hearts of the multitudes already.
But if you have faith in yourself, immeasurable faith that nothing can deter,
Then you will find the murmurs become words, frenzied words that will
Rise into a cry—
Touch me with your fervor, they will say, and make me beautiful like you.
For you are beautiful when you are whole.
When you know that every action is a stone thrown into water
Every moment ripples into a thousand others and you must remember
You have power.
And that power can be a weapon or a tool—you must decide.
Believe in your choice, be it right or wrong,
Believe in your might, be it soft or strong,
Believe in the gentle words your heart sings to your soul.
You will change the world.
Believe this, too.
You will change the world.
And I will watch and smile from the front row and know how you sent a ripple
Through me.
Never forget the honest things and the broken dreams—
In time you will use the truth to repair fractured heartstrings.
When you are not afraid of you there will not be a ripple but a
Wave.
People will find themselves in your courage,
And you must be a leader to them
So live each day conscious of yourself and the world and the power in
Each and every person.
And respect it with utmost reverence
And remember that of all the softly-glowing souls upon this earth
Within your sphere the most important light of all
Is yours.